Coping with Grief on Mother’s Day: How To Get Through It
Mother’s Day is typically a joyous holiday, but it can be difficult for people who have recently lost a mother or child, have a strained relationship with their mother, or have infertility issues. This article will suggest ways to cope with grief on Mother’s Day, helping Southern California families get through it.
Table of Contents
- Introduction: Coping With Grief on Mother’s Day
- How to Deal with the Loss of a Mother or a Child on Mother’s Day
- How to Deal with Infertility on Mother’s Day
- How to Deal with a Strained Relationship on Mother’s Day
- Opal Provides Support to Grieving Families
- FAQs
- Additional Resources
Key Takeaways
- Mother’s Day is a joyous time for many people, but it can be depressing for those who have lost a mother or child, have fertility issues, or have strained relationships with their mothers.
- There are various ways to get through. Some may celebrate with a ‘mother-figure’, honor people they’ve lost, or try to escape from the holiday altogether.
- Once you find the method that works best for you, Mother’s Day may become less painful over time.
Introduction: Coping with Grief on Mother’s Day
Meg McMillin said, “Motherhood is a choice you make every day to put someone else’s happiness ahead of your own.” Because mothers are such special, giving people, we set aside a holiday to celebrate them every year. That holiday, of course, is Mother’s Day.
For many people in Los Angeles, Orange County, and throughout the country, Mother’s Day is a joyous holiday, when family and friends gather to celebrate the woman or women they call Mom and reflect on what it means to be a mother. But for people who are dealing with the loss of a mother or a child, Mother’s Day can be a challenging time. Other challenges that might complicate the holiday include infertility, miscarriage, or strained relationships with parents.
For those who are struggling this Mother’s Day, here are a few ways you can cope.
How to Deal with the Loss of a Mother or Child on Mother’s Day
When dealing with the loss of a mother or child, there are a few universal strategies that can make almost anyone feel better. Here are some to consider.
Donate to a Cause They Cared About
Consider making a donation in your mother’s or child’s name to an organization that aligns with their personalities and beliefs. This is a great way to keep their memory alive while doing something positive that makes you feel good. According to Rush.edu, donating stimulates the brain’s reward system, providing a helper’s high that can break the cycle of depression.
Create a New Ritual
People who typically went to a favorite restaurant with their mother on Mother’s Day or did something else special and enjoyable may feel lost now that their mother is no longer with them. However, you can get over this feeling by creating a new ritual, such as visiting her grave, lighting candles, or going to a restaurant with a friend or another relative. Considering the wide range of activities available in Los Angeles, Orange County, and throughout Southern California, you are bound to find something to look forward to.
Reach Out to Others
Even if you don’t do something special, it may help to simply talk to others who knew your mother and understand what you are going through. Call them up, text them, or set up a video chat so you don’t feel so alone.
Consider Taking the Day Off Social Media
It can be tough to scroll social media on Mother’s Day after a loss. You will likely see pictures of your friends spending the day with their moms, which will make the occasion especially painful. You may be better off staying away from those platforms.
Consider logging off for a day or two. Go back on when you feel confident; most Mother’s Day-related posts will no longer come up in your feed.
Celebrations of Life
Mother’s Day can also be a great time for an annual celebration. Consider hosting a memorial event or sea scattering, or spend quiet time with their urn, cremation diamond, or parting stone. Scheduling events yearly will give you something to look forward to.
Families sometimes choose to do a sea scattering around a special date, and Mother’s Day could be the ideal time. It gives the day new meaning and creates a ritual you can return to annually. Plan a time to go out on a boat, scatter ashes with a few close loved ones, and remember your mother or child in a special way.
Do Something Else Entirely
If trying to deal with Mother’s Day is too painful, it’s okay to escape your feelings for the day. You may plan a trip to an isolated location and pretend the holiday isn’t happening. Take a hike or stay inside and watch movies.
If you have a loved one’s cremation diamond or urn, consider bringing them out on Mother’s Day, whether to a brunch, a special park, or the beach. You don’t have to stay home with your grief. Going outside may lift your mood and help you interact with others.
How to Deal with Infertility on Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day can also be painful for those who can’t have children. Several strategies that provide relief for people dealing with loss during this holiday can also be applied to individuals with fertility issues.
For example, you may want to stay off social media, do something that takes your mind off Mother’s Day, talk to a friend, or take a social media break. You may also join a community group of women with infertility issues. They will provide support and may suggest ways to get through Mother’s Day.
Here are some suggestions.
- RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association provides free community support. 81% of people who join the group say they feel better about family-building challenges after just six sessions.
- AllPaths Family Building: Free virtual peer support for people dealing with TTC, IVF, pregnancy loss, and more.
- Infertility Unfiltered: A community-based membership group offering ongoing support from peers and licensed therapists. It offers a premium option for people who want deeper engagement.
How to Deal with a Strained Relationship on Mother’s Day
People who have strained relationships with their mothers may also want to avoid Mother’s Day or celebrate in a different way. Here are some specific suggestions:
- When the Relationship is Difficult but Ongoing: In these instances, you may choose to acknowledge your mother with a phone call, email, or text, rather than an in-person visit. Think of setting boundaries as self-protection, not punishment.
- Redirect Toward Someone Else: If your mother is emotionally unavailable, or you just don’t get along, consider getting together with someone who feels like a mother, such as an aunt or a friend’s mother you are close to.
- If a Friend is Going Through This: Providing support to someone who has a strained relationship with their parent can be challenging. Don’t push them to reconcile, minimize the situation, or remind them they only have one mother. Listen without judgment, refrain from saying anything negative about their mothers- even if they do and check on them the next day. The holiday hangover may be tough to get through.
“Family does not necessarily mean blood relatives, but often a description of community, organization, or nation.”
-Queen Elizabeth II from the article, 50 Family Isn’t Always Blood Quotes and Sayings
Opal Provides Support to Grieving Families
At Opal, we understand that grief is a very private experience, and we wish we could do something to take away the pain. But what we can do is make the cremation experience as easy as possible during a difficult time. We offer a simple process that can be handled exclusively online or over the phone, and take a transparent approach, never taking advantage of families’ lack of industry knowledge or emotional states.
After arranging the cremation process, we will help you determine the best way to celebrate the life of your loved one. We offer sea scattering, cremation diamonds, cremation keepsakes, and Parting Stones, customized to your loved one’s personality. Contact us to learn more about our tailored approach to direct cremation in Los Angeles and Orange County.
FAQs
Why is Mother’s Day so hard for some people?
Mother’s Day can be hard for people who are grieving the loss of a mother or child, have infertility issues, or are navigating a strained relationship. The presence of the holiday on social media and commercial branding can make it difficult to ignore.
Is it okay to skip Mother’s Day altogether?
Yes, if Mother’s Day is painful for you, it’s okay to skip it altogether. It’s perfectly alright to take the day to do something not Mother’s Day related and let it pass without marking it.
What should I do if social media is making Mother’s Day harder?
If social media is making Mother’s Day harder, consider taking a break from it. Log off all platforms for a few days to allow the excitement to die down.
How should I handle Mother’s Day if my relationship with my mother is strained?
If your relationship with your mother is strained, don’t feel obligated to spend time together. A short text or call is perfectly acceptable. Consider spending the day with someone who seems more like a mother figure.
How can I honor a mother or child I lost on Mother’s Day?
There are various ways to honor a mother or child you lost on Mother’s Day. Consider visiting their grave, lighting a candle, or celebrating their life with a unique ritual. Find something that feels meaningful and brings comfort.
