The Funeral Theory: How We Imagine Our Final Goodbye
The funeral theory has gained popularity in recent years, making people more likely to imagine what will happen when they pass. Find out what it means, what people are saying, and how it can improve your life.
Table of Contents
- Introduction
- What is the Funeral Theory?
- The Opal Experience
- Popular Funeral Theories
- Why is the Funeral Theory So Popular?
- Using the Funeral Theory to Your Benefit
- Opal Cremation Can Help Your Funeral Theory Come to Life
- FAQs
- Additional Resources
Key Takeaways
- Popularized by TikTok user Hannah Yeager, the funeral theory presents a bleak view of how people are remembered after they die. It states that few people cry at funerals, and many don’t even show up.
- As a growing trend, several people have posted on TikTok, sharing theories about what will happen at their funerals, often using dark humor to cope with their emotions.
- Although the funeral theory can give some people anxiety, you can use it to your advantage by not caring as much about what people think and prioritizing what’s truly important.
Introduction
What will happen at your funeral? Will people cry? Say harsh words? Get drunk and fight? Will anyone even show up?
That’s something many people think about, to the point that it has become a trend, with several individuals writing articles about it and posting their theories on social media. When we read Joyann Jeffrey’s article, “The Funeral Theory is Trending – and It Might Change Your Life”- it got us thinking. After all, we are in the biz, you know?
So here are some things we’d like to add- an insider’s look at death after life, if you will. It may shock you, or it may inspire you to start making some necessary changes.
What is the Funeral Theory?
The funeral theory was popularized by @hannaheyeager, a TikTok user who claimed she learned about the shocking reality of what happens at funerals from a funeral director. She found out that only ten people cry at the average funeral. If the weather’s bad, half the people expected to show up will stay home.
Hannah stated that the news wrecked her when she first heard it, but she also found it oddly freeing. “If so few people will care that deeply at the end, why are we so obsessed with what everyone thinks when we are living?”
The Opal Experience
Opal is a provider of direct cremation, a type of cremation that does not require a service, so we don’t have tons of insight on what typically happens at a funeral, but we do have an idea about families’ attitudes towards a loved one’s death- and they run the gamut.
Some are super emotional, while others seem just as happy to move on. We’ve had families that will go out of their way to provide their loved one with an elaborate ceremony, and others that are just as happy to leave their ashes in our care rather than pay the cremation bill.
The reactions you get could surprise you. Fortunately, or unfortunately, it’s something you won’t need to worry about. Yet you may spend your entire life trying to reach that elusive goal of optimal acceptance to ensure a happy ending.
People often assume that the most popular people will get the biggest turnouts at their funerals, but this isn’t necessarily true. Take it from us. Blood relatives will show up 90% of the time, even in bad weather, while friends will only make it out if logistics align. Therefore, people who form deep connections with family and special friends typically have the most people at their funerals, regardless of their popularity.
Popular Funeral Theories
The popularity of the funeral theory has led many people to post on social media about what might happen when they die. Their responses range from dramatic to humorous. For example:
- @sadgirl hours said, “The funeral theory is so real. I imagine my exes fighting over who gets to give the eulogy. (TikTok, Oct. 2024, 1.2M views).
- @therapyjeff posted, “Funeral theory test: would your friends post a black screen or just change their profile pic for 24 hours?” (TikTok, Nov. 2024, 3.8M views)
- @milennialpause wrote, “Funeral theory: the playlist I made for my funeral in my head is better than any actual eulogy I’d get.” (X/Twitter, 45K likes, Sept. 2024)
- Reddit User on r/Genz,r/teenagers posted, “3 people, mom, dog, and the delivery guy who feels bad.” (Nov. 2024, 500+ comments)
- @sadboyhours wrote,” Funeral theory got me realizing I’d rather die alone than show up for the gram.” (X/Twitter, Feb. 2025, 67K likes)
Why is the Funeral Theory So Popular?
The funeral theory got a lot of exposure, more than say other stats, like say, “About 90% of people who lose a significant amount of weight regain it, usually within 1-5 years”. So, what’s the appeal?
It may stem from Gen Z’s obsession with dark humor and mental health. A Times Delphic article reveals that 42% of GenZ-ers have been diagnosed with a mental health disorder, almost twice as many as Americans over 25. Dark humor serves as a coping mechanism.
The funeral theory is the ideal way to cope, as it helps them address feelings of anxiety and self-worth. They can use the theory in a self-deprecating way or imagine themselves as the star of the show. It offers control over an experience we otherwise have no control over.
Here are some other factors that contribute to the funeral theory’s popularity:
- Social Media and Performative Grief: Social media gives people an opportunity to play out funeral scenarios, bringing them closer to experiencing their own funerals. It can also expose ‘fake’ online grieving, which is likely more prevalent than we would like to believe.
- A Lens for Relationships: The funeral theory allows us to explore our relationships by comparing how loved we are with how loved we feel.
- Main Character Energy: You can produce and direct your funeral and put yourself in the starring role.
Using the Funeral Theory to Your Benefit
The Funeral Theory can be negative, especially if it causes a person to obsess over who truly appreciates them, but it can work in your favor. Here’s how you can turn it into something positive.
- Stop Caring What People Say: You can always adopt Hannah Yeager’s point of view. If so few care about you in death, why does their opinion matter in life? Use this perspective to wear what you want, say what you want, and do what you want (preferably without hurting anyone else in the process).
- Prioritize What Matters Most: When thinking of something that stresses you out, ask yourself if it’s something that will matter after death. If not, let it go. Prioritize things that contribute to your life story.
- Turn Eulogies into Goals: Think about what you would like people to say about you at your funeral and turn them into life goals.
If you don’t make your own funeral plans, you may not get a funeral at all. Today, many families are choosing direct cremation for their loved one, without a service, because it’s less fuss and less expensive. Families that go this route may have a celebration of life at a later date, but some will skip a celebration entirely. It doesn’t mean they don’t care about you, but a simpler option may just be more appealing.
A Review of Funeral Theory Approaches and Impacts
| Approach | How it Impacts Outlook | Example |
| Dark humor | Helps people cope with anxiety regarding death and not being remembered | “No one will be at my funeral except my mom, my dog and the delivery man” |
| Planning | Provides a sense of control over an otherwise uncontrollable circumstance | Thinking of who will come, arrangements, what you will wear, etc. |
| Main character energy | Making yourself the tragic star of your funeral | “My exes will argue over who will deliver the eulogy” |
| Fear of being forgotten | Catastrophizing about being invisible | Expressing fears out loud, perhaps to gain reassurance or pity |
| A positive spin | Not caring what people think of you, using the funeral theory to set priorities and evaluate relationships | Becoming more daring, crossing off bucket list items |
| Social media grief | Outing fake online grieving | Calling out friends and relatives who may be guilty |
Opal Cremation Can Help Your Funeral Theory Come to Life
Opal Cremation has no control over who comes to your funeral, but we can help you plan the big event, making it one no one will want to miss. We offer assistance with sea scattering, cremation fireworks, viewings, and other celebration-of-life events. Our team can also assist you with how you are remembered with cremation diamonds and parting stones.
Although we can provide all the extras, we never lose sight of our core services. We offer affordable and transparent direct cremation in Los Angeles, Orange County, and throughout Southern California, and never charge hidden fees. With us, the price you are quoted is the price you pay.
Contact us to start planning your afterlife.
FAQs
How does imagining your funeral help with personal growth?
Imagining your funeral helps you filter your decisions, focus on relationships, and integrity and impact rather than superficial goals. Visualizing honest eulogies can help you identify positive qualities to focus on.
Is thinking about your own funeral morbid or depressing?
It doesn’t need to be. If you shift your focus from ‘fear of death’ to proof of living, you can live more intentionally, not dwell on endings.
What are the practical steps to apply to the funeral theory?
You can apply the funeral theory practically by listing 3-5 qualities you’d want mentioned at your funeral and making them into daily habits.
Can the funeral theory apply to relationships or career choices?
Yes, you can ask yourself what a loved one would say about how you treated them or what colleagues would remember about your career. Use your answers to develop positive personal and professional relationships.
What is the difference between funeral theory and other death-reflection exercises?
Death reflecting exercises, like memento mori, that require you to reflect on death daily, are stoic and somber. The funeral theory is more of a social exercise leading to actionable results.
